best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
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