I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
