Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
did i walk over a car last night?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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