I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
