I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
