You're so nebulous sometimes
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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