he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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