I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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