I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
