i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
