Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
