haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize