You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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