he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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