summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
