im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
