When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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