I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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