Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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