Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
