It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
