is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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