i jhust puked up my retainher.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
