WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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