I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
