Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
it's like iHOP with fire
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
