Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
