sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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