i just wanna soil my oats bro
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
