Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat