i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room