So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type