Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
