it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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