the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
