I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
