The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
