We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
