you would pick up someone in the library
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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