At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
