It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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