I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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