I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
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Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
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I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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