The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
