Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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