You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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