Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
