The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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