That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
