im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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