she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Terrible idea I love it
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
