I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize