doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
