We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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