if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
third nipple confirmed
Randomize
