hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
