he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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