I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
