Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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