why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
