Sry I called you an 8
Yo dont text me then not text me
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
