i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
