I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize